Men

I wonder why men can be a A$$ sometimes. I got laid off my job last year after working ther since 1993. so our money coming in is really low. I can't find a job that I can work at as I have health issues. So I applied for SSD to see if I can get it. So my son who lives with us and everyother week so does his 2 kids. One is 5 and the other is 3. Plus as a favor for a person who ask me to watch her little boy until she can get back on chasity. which is a goverment funded thing that helps pay for child care. Will she worked a bunch of over time so I was only suppose to watch him for 1 month as she was going to get back on it. Well it now is going on 4 months now. With my health issues it is getting pretty hard. But back to why men are asses. After me watching kids from 6:00 am till bed time I made a little fuss today. See my husband has a man cave and yes he spends all his time in there as my son does also.From the time they get home till bed time which is between 6:30 pm and 9:30 pm. And my husband had the nerve to say I would take this job of watching kids then working his job. But what he don't understand is once he is off work he gets to rest and sleep and do what he wants. I on the other hand have to wash dishes, get the kids a bath , get them ready for bed and my job isn't done until I go to bed. So I would love to go to work come home sit on my butt while he does all I do.

A lot of things in one blog

There has been a lot of stuff that has happen in the last week or so. On July 30th we celebrated my first grandson's birthday he turned 13. I can't believe it already it just seems like yesterday he was a little boy who use to come stay at my house almost every weekend I could get him. Now he is so busy that he doesn't stay as much anymore. Then on the 31st of July myself,mom,my daughter and sister all went to hot springs Arkansas and had a blast. I mean no kids and just adult conversation. The first day we where there my daughter had me set up for a body wrap and facial. I enjoyed that so much. Then we went to a Japanese and sushi place to eat. My daughter ordered the sushi with my mom and my sister and I ordered chicken and beef. We all shared our meals. The food was good and they put plenty on your plate. I didn't like the sushi. I will not be eating that in the future.We went back to the bed and breakfast and watched a little TV and went to bed. The lady who did the cooking was a very good cook. The breakfast was fabulous. We went to spa roll as they call it. I had a hot stone message appointment. My sister and my daughter surprised my mom with a message also. Just to let you know we both enjoyed it so much. That night we went on a riverboat cruise with a great meal. We did the same as we did the night before. We had ordered 2 shrimp meals with 2 prime rib dinners. They had so much food on the plate we couldn't eat it all even though we split the meals. It was a 2 hour cruise. The scenary was great,weather was great couldn't had a better time. My sister and daughter are such a crack up when they get together. The on Tuesday we had to head home. I didn't want to leave. But had to come home.I want to make mention that this was for my 50th birthday that my mom,sister and daughter paid for all of this for me. I didn't have to pay a dime of my money. So it was a very good ,stress free weekend for me.

Poor little guy

My little grandson went to the eye doctor yesterday to get his eye checked for school. He will be in kidngarden. He is only 5. The little blonde hair blue eye boy has to get glasses. His eye sight is so bad. He can't see thing faraway. The doctor is suprised we didn't notice before now. They found out what script he needed and cut in half right now until he gets use to seeing with these then they will change the script to what he needs. they where afraid if they gave him the full script it would confuse him or make matters worse. The poor kid. He already has ADHD and ODD now he will have to wear glasses. So he will be the kid in the class with glasses. I hope people don't make fun of him like they use to do when we where in school. He went to football camp this week and seem to enjoy it. His mom wants to let him play football with the little league. I found out he will be playing with 6 and 7 year olds. I am kinda of worried as he is a little guy. His 3 year old sister is as big as he is. I hope his mom knows what she is doing. I know my son was worried and afraid he will get hurt. I think the older children has played a year already and he hasn't played so this will be interesting.More on that later. Have a nice day..

Love
Carebear

sad

I know I havent wrote in a while. I have nothing to write about. Why ?Because I am sad..I don't know why I am sad, I am just sad.I thought I would have a happy life , that I would be comfortable and enjoying things that come my why. I guess its my own fault but how do I fight out of this bag I am in and can't get out. How do I turn on a smile when I want to cry, how to I face life everyday when I don't want to. All i can say is HELP me somehow, please make my life a little better some how. I hope I can find out to how to do all of this before I die from saddness...

shake and wake me up it must be a dream..

Today was a very good day had 2 of my grandchildren since last night. Then bammm slap in the face. My dad had some of his ear cut off last week because of cancer. The made it look good. It is a little smaller then the other but hey we can handle that. He went today to get it checked out and make sure they got it all. BUT they DIDN'T. I can't believe it. It was like a stab in the heart. I don't understand. He doesn't drink,smoke,not over weight,doesnt take illegal drugs, no high blood pressure, basic he is healthy. he is 73 and acts way younger. Now I know one day he will no longer be with us but not this way. They are going to try radation on him. But if that doesn't help then it could go to his brain. Right now it is in his inner ear. Why does this have to happen. My dad is strong, talk reason into us.He is there for us when we need him. But the funny thing about him is he is a pack rat. He goes through things and brings them home to fix later on. I know it will happen one day but how am I going to go on and not see my dad everyday or at least talk to him. I am just so sad. I am going to have to be strong for my mom. I will have to be there for her.
She has been with my dad since 1955 and they got married in 1957. They had my sister in 1959, me in 1961, my brother Todd in 1963 and my brother Rod in 1965. We are a close knitted family. We kiss and hug hi and kiss and hug bye. This can't happen to my daddy. Better go before I break up again..

still can't belive it

I know I get on here and just sound down all the time. but this is how I feel all the time now. I still can't belive we still have to go to food banks to get our food. tomorrow they are holding one in a local town around here and I will be getting up early and go so I don't have to worry about food for my grandchildren. I just don't understand people sometimes. I know they have to lay people off if there isn't enough work , but sometimes they don't know the effect they have on the home front when they do. The place I worked for was a family owned buiness. They are on face book so when I see that some of the family members go on trips to nice places it just doesn't sit in my stomach to well. since I have to count pennies , cut coupons or choose which medince I have to fill this week because I don't have enough money to pay for it all in on week. I am just glad I bought christmas for my grandkids before I got laid off. At least they will not think to bad of grandma because she couldn't buy them something. When I got laid off all my life insurance stop to where i have no more. what sucks is I paid for that with my own money and I can't carry it on my own. So I went to the same company to get more life insurance with my health issues you never know. So I got a letter today that tells me that I can't get life insurance. let me quto to what they say " At this time we are unable to provide the insurance protection you have requested because of you medical history of Lupus and confidential medical history" Now isn't that the "shits" they will cover me when i worked for my old place but not now... So now I have to go to the furneal home to make arrangements to make payments so I can have a half way decent furneal.. I laid in bed last night and just cried . Wow ...

It is only Wednsday.

Will another day has gone by and nothing has really happened. Of course that is the way it goes everyday. I don't have enough gas in my car to go anywhere and if I did have enough gas I have no money to do anything with. I think we sunk low today. My son went and got food from the food pantry. I just can't believe I am 49 years old and am in worst shape now then when I was youner. I thought when I got older and the kids are out of the house that things would be easier. But I am telling you for me it is harder. I am help raising my 2 little grandchildren every other week and it is hard. My body just isn't young and can't go any like it use to. I know this is way to much information but I have no sex life to look forward to make my life a little bit excited. When I got laid off I thought I would enjoy the time off since I worked since I was 16. I hate not working,I hate not having adult conversation, I hate that I don't dress up to go anywhere, I hate so many things. maybe it is all in my head I don't know. But I guess my life started to screw up 20 or so years ago. I can't say all I did was a screw. If i didn't do what I did I wouldn't have my son or my 2 grandchildren and I love them very much. Oh well another day and another post. yah!!!!