still can't belive it

I know I get on here and just sound down all the time. but this is how I feel all the time now. I still can't belive we still have to go to food banks to get our food. tomorrow they are holding one in a local town around here and I will be getting up early and go so I don't have to worry about food for my grandchildren. I just don't understand people sometimes. I know they have to lay people off if there isn't enough work , but sometimes they don't know the effect they have on the home front when they do. The place I worked for was a family owned buiness. They are on face book so when I see that some of the family members go on trips to nice places it just doesn't sit in my stomach to well. since I have to count pennies , cut coupons or choose which medince I have to fill this week because I don't have enough money to pay for it all in on week. I am just glad I bought christmas for my grandkids before I got laid off. At least they will not think to bad of grandma because she couldn't buy them something. When I got laid off all my life insurance stop to where i have no more. what sucks is I paid for that with my own money and I can't carry it on my own. So I went to the same company to get more life insurance with my health issues you never know. So I got a letter today that tells me that I can't get life insurance. let me quto to what they say " At this time we are unable to provide the insurance protection you have requested because of you medical history of Lupus and confidential medical history" Now isn't that the "shits" they will cover me when i worked for my old place but not now... So now I have to go to the furneal home to make arrangements to make payments so I can have a half way decent furneal.. I laid in bed last night and just cried . Wow ...